The Same's Little Hime
by Princess Luka Vocalzal
Summary: Kisame never imagined actually having someone in his life, thinking he was doomed to a lonely, missing-nin life, but when he finds a baby all alone and abandoned in the woods near the base, he finds all that is about to change.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I know everyone wants me to update my other stories, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head and had to put it down, plus I've been wanting to try my hand at a Naruto-fic for months now. So please forgive for creating a new story instead of focusing on the others, so I hope it's just as good.**

 **Anyways, since there so many fem-Naruto and fem-Sasuke AUs (not that I have a problem with it) I thought I take the same idea but use a different character instead. I got the idea for this after reading 'The Fox's Kit' by SuperNeos2. So to make things clear, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters expect for any and all OCs I might throw in.**

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Kisame Hoshigaki was board. And a board shark-nin was never a good thing; that Itachi could speak of even with his little experience with the Kiri-Missing Nin. The leader had little missions that were actually fun and had a point to them had dwindled to an almost nonexistent number. On top of that, he had nothing else to do, no one would let him anywhere near the new recruits after his last incident with them, though to be fair, he had warned them of his temper and low-patience level, so Itachi had most teaching sessions while Sasori took over when he couldn't, unlike now. The puppet master himself was out getting his hands a new poison he discovered out in the Land of Snow and took Kakuzu with him, while Deidara spoke with Pain and Konan about Kami knew what, Zetsu was doing who knew what and Hidan doing some ritual, he didn't know (nor wanted to know) the details, leaving Kisame with no one to pester for amusement.

Thus, leading to where he was now. Catching some early sleep beneath a random tree in a glen just west of the base, sure this was going to mess with his schedule, but he figured he could afford it with his new jutsu. If things continued how they were, Kisame was pretty sure he was going to kill something soon.

His ear twitched suddenly at a sudden sound. It was soft, but not enough for him to miss. He, without opening his eyes, used a basic sonar technique to see what it could be. No ninja he knew of was stupid enough to purposely make a noise like that unless there was an ulterior motive, such as a trap.

What he got back wasn't something he expected. Nothing. No chakra signatures, no traces of traps, nothing. Not even faint chakra traces that someone had been there and simple avoided his technique. That wasn't right, even someone as young as a child would have had left something.

He shrugged, figuring he imagined it and stretched, deciding now was a good time to head back before Pain discovered he wasn't in the base. The last time someone spent too much time out without Pain knowing about it beforehand Kisame thought the guy was going to have a hernia. Guess he just loved things in the perfect order he was used to them being in, not that Kisame could blame him. Some people were just like that with certain things, Kisame knew he was when it came to his eating habits.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Kisame decided to walk back, if anything to further prolong the boredom that was awaiting him there. He was honestly starting to wonder if all this was worth capturing nine brats just so they can finally have a more peaceful era. As much as it would be nice to no longer have to constantly be looking over his shoulder, he knew if it was perfectly peaceful, he wouldn't be the only one that'd go crazy. As admirable and understandable as the goal was, it wasn't completely thought through. They were ninja, disharmony was how they thrived and made their living, taking that chaos and hostility from them would be…not a very smart thing to do, but he wasn't about to bring that up with Pain, he valued his head too much.

Kisame sighed through his nose, knowing if these thoughts kept up, he wasn't going to get any sleep period. Just as he ducked under an arch of lower branches a soft coo sounded through the almost eerie silence of the woods, causing Kisame to stumble forward from the sheer shock of the sudden sound. Very slowly as not to provoke a sudden attack (human or otherwise), Kisame carefully scanned the area; apart from the chirping and carefree singing of the evening birds and the occasion squirrel or chipmunk, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. In fact, it was just another day in Rain Country, just without the rain for once. Shrugging, he turned and started off again, figuring he just imagined it again, cursing the birds under his breath.

But then, two sounds were heard, louder this time and closer; a rattling sound and squeak, causing Kisame to jump from surprise and nearly topple forward had he not recover just as quick. He whirled around, Samehada gripped tight as he moved forward, ready to draw and defend, eyes quickly scanning for an enemy and mildly wondered how someone snuck up on him.

This time, he did find something, but it wasn't a person. There, nestled in the roots of a tree, was a wicker basket, the kind without a handle, little tuffs of fabric peeking over the edge. Kisame let out a shuddering sigh as he relaxed a little at the lack of danger, letting go of his death grip on Samehada's handle, only to tense up again when a light, innocent laugh erupted from said basket.

He felt his chest tighten, a feeling he hadn't felt since…

' _No! Nope!'_ Kisame interrupted his own train of thought subconsciously, eyes still glued on the basket as he oh so slightly inched closer, _'Not going there!'_

Swallowing once he was just a foot or so from the basket, he leaned in a little to peer inside, only to feel the color drain from his face, his heart stopping and legs get just the tiniest bit weak. For lying comfortably in the nest of pink and white blankets, clutching a rattle in tiny hands was a baby.

All Kisame could do at the moment was stare down at the tiny creature, unable to fully comprehend what he was looking at, at first, _'Is that a baby?'_ was the only thing that echoed around in his head as if it were a cave. When the realization set in, he jumped back, the sound of his feet hitting the ground grabbing the infant's attention as he shouted in shocked-alarm, "HOLY-SHIT KAMI, IT IS A BABY!"

The baby, oblivious to how the shark-nin was feeling, just slipped coo after coo, wiggling around in the blankets as the missing-nin once again scanned the area, this time also looking for clues to where the baby could've come from. Throwing caution to the wind, he called out for anyone to hear, "Hello? HELLO? Someone's left their baby over here! Anyone here?"

Unfortunately, the only reply he got was the continuing chirps of birds and flaps of wings as they flew away from the sound of his voice. This made him nervous and since no one was around, he had no need to hide it with his usual act.

Steeling his nerves, he knelt down in front of the basket, looking down at the baby, who kept wiggling around happily. "Where the hell did you come from?" He wondered aloud, scanning the basket for some sort of clue, a clan symbol, a village insignia, anything that could point to where the child's family could possibly be. But there was nothing, the blankets and basket was perfectly plain, no special decoration of any kind.

The baby just cooed pushing the rattle into its mouth, making Kisame sigh, "At least I know you aren't old enough to talk yet." Even the rattle was somewhat plain, being of average shape and a nice light blue in color with two white strips, one in the middle of the actual rattle and one down on the end of the handle. Along the top strip were little cute puppies and kittens.

"Nothing to tell me where you could've come from," Kisame mused as the baby continued to coo, "But you have to be from Rain Country, who goes to another nation just to dump a kid?"

The baby just continued to coo and giggle around the rattle, making Kisame face-palm as he realized something, "I'm reasoning logic with an infant…" An infant that he just now noticed had a deep tan, which had to natural, with a tiny wisp of brown hair atop its head and big, shiny, innocent dark brown eyes staring up at him. A pair of red triangles were the only thing unique about the child, one on each cheek, giving him the impress the kid belonged to some sort of ninja clan, again making him wonder who on earth dumped a potential ninja here of all places.

"At least I have a small clue to who your parents are," Kisame smiled slightly, despite the act he put up for the Atasuki, he did have a soft spot for kids. Abandoning the rattle, the baby ceased wiggling and held out its tiny hands towards him, cooing, "Dada."

Kisame froze instantly, unable to stop himself from falling back onto his ass. Kami, someone please tell him the kid didn't just call him 'dada' of all things. Kisame knew for an absolute certainty that he did _not_ have _any_ kids; sure, he got drunk quite a few times he actually allowed himself to have fun, but never that drunk.

"Okay…" He said slowly, shaking his head, "So you _can_ talk, got anything else to say kid? Like, maybe where you're from?" Maybe the word was just a fluke.

But that hope was dashed when the baby just made grabbing motions at him, repeating, "Dada."

Kisame could stare once more. So the kid really did mean it, the kid really thought he was its dad. Was it possible it was because it was abandoned right after it was born, so it never knew its real parents? The thought made Kisame a little sick. But it sounded just about right, judging from the baby's alarmingly small size and (right now) one word vocabulary.

His small, round white eyes stared down into excited chocolate brown eyes as the baby continued to reach up to him, clearly wanting to be held. Kisame knew very well he couldn't just leave the child here, knowing exactly what animals lived in these woods, and even if an animal didn't kill it, it could just as well eat it after the exposure or starvation did the killing for them.

Making up his mind, Kisame leaned down slowly and carefully picked up the infant, taking a few blankets with it. The baby giggled happily at finally being held, before gurgling happily, "Papa."

' _Make that a_ _two_ _word vocabulary,'_ Kisame corrected himself trying hard to keep the smile off his face as he said, trying not to sound too stern, "I'm not your dad, kid." He couldn't let the kid get attached to him, nor could he let himself get attached, especially when the real parents were out there somewhere.

But the baby didn't seem to get it and just cooed, "Papa."

"I'll find your dad," Kisame said stressing his next words, "Your _real_ one."

The baby just insisted further, "Dada."

"Will you please stop calling me that!" Kisame finally lost his cool and snapped, his emotional scars from his much distance past beginning to burn, "I'm not your dad! I wouldn't know how to be it if I was!" His mind flashed back to his genin days, watching all those families with a painful longing in his heart, always coming home to a very empty house, "I never had one to show me how!" Tears that he had thought run dry a very long time ago started to trickle down his cheeks and Kisame couldn't bring himself to care.

The baby stopped giggling and cooing and began to cry, tears running down its cheeks, as if able to tell exactly how Kisame felt, tiny fists flailing around. Because of how small it was, Kisame had no idea how to tell how old it was, so for all he knew it probably could tell. But right now, that wasn't the important thing.

Kisame instantly felt panic fly from his heart to his head like a bee to a flower, "Ah, don't cry! Hey, don't cry!" He was really starting to feel like a kid again, only now he was starting to remember what it was like back at the rare academy on test day he forgot to study for.

Instincts kicking in, Kisame began to gently rock the child in his arms, lowering his voice as he said, "It's okay, look; daddy's here; don't cry," A watery smile found its way onto his face, surprised by how easy it was to pretend to be the kid's dad, "Daddy's here; you don't have to cry."

Apparently, it did the trick, because the sobs subsided and the giggles started once more, a smile re-appearing on the child's face as it cooed happily, "Dada!"

Kisame smiled once more, unable to deny the warmth that word filled him with and he held the infant close. However, the gesture caused something to slip out of the folds of the blankets and fall onto the ground with an audible cluck sound.

This caused Kisame blink in surprise and look down to see what it was. Lying on the ground was a necklace, too big for the infant, but just the right size for a child or adult to wear. A plain, but worn brown piece of leather of some sort had been threated through the gold clasp to make the necklace, while the matching gold pendant formed a sort of octagonal shape; staring up at him innocently atop the pendant was an engraved 'K' that was painted a lovely jade-green overtop a pair of white wings with black brair-designs. It seemed elaborate and fancy, but a trained eye and a well-knowledged brain could tell it was only worth so much, even on the black market it couldn't have been worth more then at least a thousand yen, which wasn't what it used to be nowadays, but it was clearly hand-made and a custom job.

Carefully adjusting his grip, he picked it up by the leather cord and felt the corners of lips quirk as he commented, "At least now I got an actual clue to where you came from." The baby just continued to giggle, gurgle and coo as he dangled it and reached out to try and touch the pendant, making him chuckle fondly moving it closer to for the infant to tap it lightly.

Kisame then sighed, wonder what to do now. He could always drop the child off at the orphanage, though he was fairly sure a snowball had a better chance surviving in hell then them taking the child, especially when it was him of all shinobi bringing it in. After all, the orphanage in Kiri didn't keep him after he started showing signs of being a promising shinobi, so who's to say would do the same if this child began to show signs of ninja skills? No one could, but it wasn't a risk Kisame was willing to take. There was no way he was telling Pain about this, mostly because he would just order him to give to the orphanage or kill it as currently held no value in his plan. Kisame couldn't just leave the baby here, being left in the woods and in a handle-less basket no less obviously meant to him that the parents probably didn't want it to being with.

A new idea left Kisame in deep thought. Could he raise it? Hell no was the only thing that kept coming to mind, no matter how he thought about it. Not only was he a shinobi, he was a missing-nin to boot. He had too many enemies that would gladly use the baby to get at him, plus he couldn't juggle the missions and caring for an infant all at once, especially when you add his duties to the Akatsuki into the mix. Plus, as violent and death-risking as it was, he loved his ninja life and wasn't ready to leave it yet, but he didn't want to leave the idea of keeping the kid alone, liking the way hearing those two words made him feel and wanting to keep holding it in his arms. Until he could think of how to sort this all out, the kid stayed with him.

But on that note, realization dawned on the shark-nin, "Wait a second..." He looked down at the now peaceful baby, who apparently needed a father's touch to sleep, head resting peacefully against his chest, "Are you a boy or a girl? And what am I suppose to call you?" He felt like slapping himself upon remembering who he was talking to and opted to simply checking himself after setting the necklace back in the basket.

He found nothing between the kids legs: it was a healthy baby girl.

"Hmmm..." He mused as the baby slept, "Now what to call you..." He thought hard on it, he honestly didn't know many female names that he honestly liked, looking back at the necklace he figured it was meant for her if they left it with her, meaning her actual name started with a 'K', "Can't call you Konan, for one thing it'd be too weird and it just doesn't suit you." The baby made no response, still sleeping.

There was no way he was naming her 'Kasumi'(1), its meaning brought up too many bad memories for several reasons, same with any other name that held some sort of water-related meaning. Couldn't even name her a feminized version of his name since it'd be way too weird. Which limited his choice in names.

"I guess I can call you...Kimiko(2)," Kisame decided and found he loved it, he smiled down at the newly christened Kimiko, who still slept peacefully on, "Because you're my beautiful little girl."

With a nod of satisfaction, he placed the necklace back in the basket before tucking it under his arm, planning to further examine it for anymore clues to Kimiko's real family and home, then headed back to the base. He knew he wasn't skilled enough to completely sneak in without getting caught, so he just hoped he could hide his new daughter and just pass the basket off as a little errand he had to run.

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 **And I'm done, not bad if I do say so myself!**

 **Before anyone complains (if they haven't already) I picked Kisame because well, I don't think the show put much depth into his more personal path, like how he got into the swordsmen in the first place and his childhood. Of course, I never watched the whole anime, so I could be wrong. So I just thought this would be a nice way to introduce that in a somewhat small way.**

 **Plus, I live by my belief that no one is born evil, its the choices we make that shape who we become and if anything, ninjas are the best example of it. Besides, no one ninja is truly 100% evil, it just depends on one's perspective of their goal and their past, and the actions they've made to get to where they are, like Itachi for example. Plus, everyone wears masks, look at Kakashi! I kid, I kid, but seriously, everyone acts differently in public then they do at home, I know I do, so Kisame should be no different; who's to say he can't be a good father if he had ever become one?**

 **(1): Kasumi is a Japanese name that means 'mist', I thought it be a big no-no name for a few obvious reasons.**

 **(2): Kimiko is also a Japanese name that means 'valuable' or 'beautiful' child, I was honestly the only name I liked that started with 'K'.**

 **On that note, think you can guess who the baby is? I'll give you a hint, its one of the original characters in the show, just...now a girl. Plus I think the name isn't so bad, tell me what you guys think. Also, who do you think should find out about her first? Tobi? Itachi? Maybe Deidara? Oh, I just can't decide!**

 **Oh, well, let me know what you all think! Till next time!**

 **P.S., if this chapter seems short to anyone, please let me know! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, guys whose back! I gotta admit, I didn't expect the reaction I got for this, but who's gonna complain? Not me! Anyways, let's get a movin'!**

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Sneaking back into the base was surprisingly easy considering how you look at it. Kisame simply snuck in through the underground sewer system and the shark-nin could have never been more grateful for the hidden tunnels. With the size of the base their sewer mirrored an entire town's system right down to the stone walls and questionable-color of the water. The realistic side of Kisame knew that the very least the rest of the council was going to find out about his new charge, but he felt the need of prolonging it, if anything to have more time to figure out how to explain it well enough that Pein would allow her to stay. A bigger part of him thought there was a good chance the Uzumaki could see reason; after all he allowed Itachi and his infant brother Sasuke to stay for the potential he saw in them and since it appeared she was also from a ninja clan, there was a good chance.

As Kisame walked on, he occasionally glanced down at the still sleeping baby, who was nestled comfortably in the crook of his arm. She really was so small, even for a newborn, her head was tucked soundly (and safely) near the joint of his arm and shoulder as he cradled her and her feet barely reached his elbow, the one or two blankets she was still wrapped in, along with the sleeve of his cloak keeping her well warm. Yet, as alarming as her size was, she seemed otherwise fine and his first decision after he finally had approval to keep her was to get her to a medic-nin.

Kimiko's light, almost whispered breathes were surprisingly nice for him to listen to, creating a sort of delicate song alongside the drips of water from the ceiling and soft rattles of the pipes. The thought made his smile grow as he shook his head, he had only know her for the span of maybe half-an-hour, but already she was making quite an impact on his overly shitty and lonely life. Barely anyone wanted him around, even during his genin days he was painfully alone and more or less ignored for his strange complexion and shark-like features; apparently Kiri was fond of the 'if you ignore it, it'll go away' method. Yet, Kimiko wanted him around the moment she laid eyes on him, completely unaware of his past and all he had done, so thus, had no reason not to hate or distrust him, which the blue-haired shinobi was eternally grateful and appreciative for.

He finally paused to look around upon reaching a manhole cover and ladder. If his memory severed his right, this intersection was under the intersecting halls that led to his room. Now all that was left to do was hide the basket so he could come back and get it later and be sure it would still be down here, which was easy with a simple henge to turn it into a rock that blended in with the cement around him.

Satisifed, Kisame carefully adjusted his hold on Kimiko before making his way up the ladder. Carefully lifting the lid as quietly as he could, slate-grey eyes scanned the four halls for any sign of life, whilst keeping a sharp ear out for approaching noise. Once sure it was safe to be in the open, Kisame carefully climbed out, using his foot to carefully lower the manhole lid back into place before heading for his room. He was halfway down the hall when a very _foul_ smell assaulted his nose, making him freeze and gag, which cut halfway into a wrenching cough as he tried to control his volume. He quickly sniffed at his cloak to see if anything from the sewer clung to him, but there wasn't anything on it. Figuring the events of the day was finally wearing his mind down and it was playing tricks on him, he started to continue on when he smelt it again and he gagged/coughed again. He was getting confused until it dawned on him and he quickly moved his free hand to feel Kimiko's diaper and paled when he felt the lumps confirming his suspicion: Kimiko pooped her diaper.

Kisame really did have to curse both Kami and his luck since he didn't have any diapers for obvious reasons and his mind was going a mile a minute wondering what to replace one with as he debated removing it in the hall and throwing it away just for the sake of getting rid of the smell. Part of him thought of how funny it'd be to throw the dirty diaper at Deidara, Sasori, Konan or even Pein next time one of them pissed him off, but ultimately went against it; knowing the girls, they'd tried to kill him and Pein defiantly would and he actually wanted to live to see his new little girl make genin. He'd just figure out the whole diaper thing in his room where no one could see him.

Moving faster than he thought possible, Kisame made a very hasty beeline for his bedroom door. Carefully balancing his daughter's head as he jiggled the doorknob and tried to pull the door open for a few seconds, only to realize what he was doing wrong and turn the knob the right way and pushed it open. Once open, Kisame rushed into his room with the now awakening Kimiko in his arm, shutting the door behind.

However, in his rush, he failed to see six-year-old Itachi Uchiha standing at the other end of the hall, baby bottle in hand; staring as his teacher/comrade ran into his room like one of the biju was on his tail. He blinked as his usually emotionless coal-black eyes stared at the spot Kisame had been standing in seconds prior, now shining bright with confusion.

He had just been coming back with a full bottle of milk for Sasuke, which he just tasted to see if it was too hot, when he heard footsteps approaching fast and momentarily panicked until he saw it was just Kisame. For such a dark and loud shinobi, the former heir had to respect the man's sheer power and skill with his former village's signature element, and despite the violent, hot-tempered front he'd put up, he was rather nice for a rival shinobi, usually being the first or second to volunteer to help him with his little brother and Itachi didn't even peg the guy for liking 'mini-brats' as the man had so lightly put it.

So imagine Itachi's utter surprise to see the man not only looking openly panicked, making the young Uchiha wonder if they were being invaded and he just simply didn't get the word, and carrying a surprisingly tiny baby. It was smaller than Sasuke, who was just barely a month old and had familiar marks that Itachi just couldn't place.

Apparently, the shark-nin never saw him, because instead of stopping to stare back or explain; Kisame struggled with his door for a moment before rushing in and slamming it behind him.

After a few more blinks, all Itachi managed to say was the question repeating itself in his head, "Was that Kisame-san with a baby?" He glanced around, half-expecting someone to answer, before sighing half-heartedly.

It really wasn't his first choice to leave Konoha, but he really hadn't a choice in the end. He was _not_ ready for Clan Head duties despite what the insufferable council thought and he wasn't about to be separated from his brother either, not when he made a promise to his dying parents he would always watch and protect the younger heir. It took everything Itachi had not to break down at their funerals and even after being taken in by the Akatsuki and finding something of dysfunctional family in the council members, it was still taking some getting used to not having his parents around.

Shaking off the depressing thoughts and refocusing on what was around him, Itachi reverted back to his usual demeanour as he stared down at the bottle in his hand as he wondered, "What do they put in this stuff?" That said, he dumped out the milk and began the long trek back to the kitchen for another, hoping his brother could wait another forty minutes.

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Kisame took a minute to sag a bit against the closed door in relief that he had made it without getting caught. His living space was something of an apartment complex, it wasn't big by luxury means, but it was decently sized with a nice living room/dining room combo that was separated by a counter from the kitchen, which was also decent size with modern-styled appliances and the hall led to two bedrooms, his broom-closet and the bathroom. He really needed to start making plans to change things to suit his new little girl.

Speaking of whom, Kimiko let out a joyful coo of seeing her new papa, kicking her tiny feet wildly from her excitement. Kisame would've been happy to smile and would've chuckled at the sight…had not a tiny bit of poop not slid out of an opening in the diaper and land on his coffee table.

"I sometimes eat there, I hope you know," The Kiri-missing nin half-whined, half semi-scolded, his disgust growing as the smell got worse.

Kimiko seemed oblivious to it though as she continued to giggle and laugh. This caused Kisame to narrow his eye playfully at her as he smirked, "Oh, so you think is funny, huh?" As he got some paper towels, he teased, "You know, if you were about three ft taller, I'd probably make you clean this yourself."

After setting her down, he cringed a bit as he began to clean the poop off the table, whilst mumbling, "I can take down almost countless enemies without batting an eyelid, but I can't clean up baby waste without cringing…" Now he kinda hope he wouldn't have to tell anyone about his new daughter, if anything to avoid future embarrassment.

"Dada," Kimiko's soft, quiet and small voice called out to him, arms out and making grabbing motions, clearly wanting to be held once more as she kicked her legs. She was just so small, cute and adorable, and innocent, it made Kisame wonder where her wings and halo were.

Fears of embarrassment forgotten, Kisame gave his new child his signature shark-like grin as he spoke gently, "Daddy's coming, don't worry." Instead of flinching at the grin like most children usually did, Kimiko just laughed more, making him smile more genuinely.

Once the smaller mess was cleaned and done, Kisame went to take care of the bigger, original one, only to pause and suddenly feel rather stupid as he tried to recall what to do. He had done his fair share of babysitting D-rank missions as a genin with his team, but even then, all he and Zabuza had to do was entertain the older children while Ameyuri cared for the infants with their sensei, having not trusted the either of them with such simple things as feeding them or changing the diaper.

Kisame looked at the actual diaper, hoping there'd be some sort of clue and those hopes were answered when he noticed straps on the sides. Grinning once more at his own accomplishment, Kisame carefully undid the straps and started to pull the diaper off, only to quickly back up at the overwhelming stench of poop coming free now that there wasn't anything to contain and restrain it.

Now he was feeling like an idiot, trying to figure out what to do now. If he just left Kimiko on the table as he got rid of the diaper, her still dirty bottom was going leave a very nasty stain and smell on his table, which he doubted was going to wash out easy, leaving Kisame with the option to toss out the table, which would lead to questions he didn't feel like answering.

Looking around for inspiration, he smirked as he got an idea and formed a one handed-seal, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" He winced as his chakra molded to the jutsu he had almost forgotten, but smiled as the poof smoke gave way to the perfect copy of Kisame, which also gagged at the horrible smell.

The clone took one look at the situation and bluntly said, "Yeah…I'm leaving." Only to be stopped by the original grabbing him by the cloak collar.

"Just toss the diaper into the sewer," The original Kisame growled, "No one's going to question the smell then and get back here before taking yourself out, I'm in no mood for clone-shit right now." The clone begrudgingly complied, cringing as he took the dirty diaper out from under Kimiko as the original held her tiny legs up as carefully as he could, once again concerned about her size.

The clone made quick work of diaper, being gone and back in as little as five minutes, before glowering at the original Kiri-nin unamusedly, "Happy now?"

Kisame smirked back as he went into the kitchen to get a rag to clean Kimiko's still dirty bottom, "Very," The clone huffed before simply bashing his head into a random wall in order to leave, leaving the original to huff indigently as he rung the dripping rag, "Even I'm not _that_ dramatic."

However, the blue-haired shinobi was oblivious to the fact that Kimiko had watched the whole thing too and she gave a small, confused coo as her eyes shined with confusion, hurt and alarm before watering with sadness and she started to wail, tears running down her face. This, of course, caught Kisame very much off guard, "What's wrong, Kimiko? Are you okay?" He once again felt stupid for asking something she obviously couldn't answer, he couldn't have been happier for the sound-proof walls as he was right now.

But upon registering his voice, Kimiko's head almost snapped in his direction and upon seeing him, she was immediately all squeals and giggles, mouth stretching into a cute, toothless smile and cocoa eyes twinkling once more with happiness to see him intact. It then clicked in Kisame's head what must've been wrong; Kimiko had also watched the clone cancel itself out and must've thought it was actually him and mentally cursed himself for his carelessness, but couldn't help finding her mistake just the tiniest bit funny.

As he wiped her bottom clean, he smiled down at her, feeling warmth growing more as those bright eyes locked on him with unconditional love and happiness. "Daddy's not going to leave you all alone," He promised fondly as, now that she was clean, removing the paper towel he used to keep her from making a stain on his table, "Never."

He then tossed the dirty rag into a nearby trash-basket with one, sharp flick of his wrist, followed by the now stained paper-towel, not at all pleased with holding something with stains that weren't going wash out anytime soon. Now clean and free, Kimiko squirmed on the table giggling up at her father's thoughtful, but warm expression as he was met with one of his first problems upon deciding to keep her. She still needed a new, clean diaper and he wasn't about to try and get one from Itachi, already knowing Sasuke's were much too big for his tiny little girl.

He couldn't stop himself from musing softly aloud, "I have plenty of money to get some from the nearest town, but I doubt I can get out of here, much less there without questions rising and I _still_ don't know how I'm going to convince Pein to let me keep ya." Kimiko just cooed up at him, somehow managing to jam her foot in her mouth, looking up at him with big, warm, innocent chocolate eyes, making him chuckle.

He looked around once again for inspiration, only to spy the simple black curtain hanging on his only window. Despite the base was built into the mountain, the bedrooms had been built along the outer wall, allowing windows with nice views to be optional should any of them desired them. He once again chuckled only this time at himself for the desperate-looking choice he was about to make.

Wordlessly, he stood up and took out a kunai, not in the mood to simply rip the whole thing down and just ripped a small part of the bottom, figuring a small infant like Kimiko didn't need a big diaper, heck, he was sure she wasn't even going to need a normal sized diaper. Seething the kunai, he sat back on the couch in front of the table and got creative, folding the curtain into a relatively close diaper shape. Sue him if he was ill-prepared, he didn't exactly get any warning he'd be caring for an incredibly small infant.

Still, it didn't stop Kisame from smiling again at the reminder he was a father. Never, not in a million years did he ever think he be a real father, hell, he didn't even peg himself for parent material. Easily tempered and brash, loud and violent, he was defiantly the last pick for first choice in new fathers. It didn't help he never had his own to show just what the job entailed, but as he looked down at Kimiko, he could start to see how men were so over the moon for it. Her smile, her laugh, the warmth in her dark, but at the same time bright with emotion, eyes, it all made him feel so warm and needed. He already loved holding her and seeing her smile, and he got the suspicion that as she grew their bond as father and daughter was surely going to grow with her.

Just as Kisame finished putting the makeshift diaper on her, he started to lift her up when it just slid right off, making him groan and feel like banging his head on the table, forgetting the curtain didn't have the straps like actual diapers did. Kimiko just giggled and laughed at her father's misery. Kisame paused to think of how to keep the diaper on when a thought occurred to him and prayed no woman or medic nin found out he did this as he took out one of his sebon needles. Easily breaking it in four small pieces, he refolded the curtain-diaper and used to pieces as pins to keep the diaper in place. Picking her up carefully, he was pleased when it didn't slip off again.

"Note number one," Kisame said to himself as he once again placed her snug in the crook of his arm, "Get diapers." The only pleasing thing about this whole curtain thing was that she'd only have to put up with it for one night and not the rest of her baby years. The rumble of his stomach reminded him of another detail as he added, "And baby food. Diapers and baby food." He doubted a close to newborn baby would be as partial to fish or fish related food as he was.

He was surprised when Kimiko's mouth suddenly found his finger, but thankfully, she didn't have any teeth yet. "No trying to bite Daddy," He gently reprimanded her, carefully taking his finger back, "Not until you're ready to train as a ninja anyway," Kimiko just started to nibble on a piece of his cloak, "What are you a goat? Stop that!"

Kimiko just cooed, voice muffled by the fabric, "Dada!" He laughed warmly as she blinked up at him, just when he thought she couldn't get any cuter. He was getting the idea these surprises were going to be a regular thing. But somehow it just made him feel all the luckier to have her in his life...that and it was easier to look forward to more then his next job.

Kisame suddenly narrowed his eyes a little as he peered down at his daughter as she continued to look up at him. Tilting his head, he mused aloud, no longer able to care that she couldn't talk back, "You know, you kinda have Konan's eyes."

Kimiko tilted her own head, almost mirroring him as she lost interest in chewing his sleeve to take in this new name, having only heard it once before when she drifted off to sleep in the woods but she hadn't been that interested in it before and now had a curious glint in her eyes. He wasn't far off the mark, his girl and that woman did have almost the same eyes; Konan's was a dark amber that glinted like the actual cold ore in the light, narrowed and doed, while Kimiko's was a chocolate-y brown bright with emotion, big and round.

"Naw, on second thought, forget I said anything!" Kisame laughed it off, figuring he was overthinking, "You're cute, sweet, bright and lifely," As he said this, he used a finger to tickle her belly, making her giggle again, which in turn made him smile, "She's ugly and a cold bitch." But before he realized what he said, the damage had been done.

Kimiko let out a bright coo as she tried to repeat, "Bwtuh!" Making Kisame freeze, eyes wide both at the fact she just said another word and the fact of all the words she had to repeat, she picked that one.

He quickly tried to amend his mistake, "Don't say that word, its a bad word," But it didn't stop him from smirking thought as he added, "But nice one thought." Kimiko just beamed spilling out more bright coos.

He chuckled back, finding the sound musical and pleasant, "Time to sleep, kiddo, Dad's got stuff to do tomor-" He froze as soon as he started to walk towards his warm, comfy bed as the cruel reminder of his occupation came barreling up front in his mind. If you thought normal ninja life was hexing, try missing ninja life; he was going to be gone for Kami knew how long and he had to get someone to watch and care for her in the mean time. He couldn't get just ask someone no matter how much he trusted them because he just _knew_ that was going to lead to a scene where Pain was going to force him to send her away or, worse, kill her right in front of him when he refused. He couldn't, wouldn't, bare to lose Kimiko like that, it'd hurt worse then any jutsu or blade.

Eyes trailing to her diaper, it clicked and once again he felt silly. He could just conjure a few shadow (or whatever he felt like using) clones for babysitters and no one would be the wiser, cause, what missing-nin outside the council, jounin or chunin, was stupid enough to break into a council member's room? And the council respected each other enough to respect one another's privacy...especially after Hidan was put in the medical wing after trying to break into Deidara's room.

Regaining his smile and composure, he carried her down the hall and opened the door to his bedroom. Taking a glance around, he began to rethink turning the extra bedroom into a nursery, there was practically enough room in his own room as it was, plus, call him paranoid, but; the closer she was to him, the safer she was. But he figured that was a bridge to cross for another day as he set her down on the blue-covered bed so he could go change.

Kimiko didn't seemed bothered by the change of placement and rolled over on her stomach. Her dark eyes wandered until they landed on his key-chain. Kisame didn't know why he kept it, having only one key, possibly cause it was the first gift Itachi gave him after the kid got here. Kimiko seemed to like it, more pacifically, the plastic, cartoon shark head, cause she crawled (more like dragged) herself toward it as he had accidentally tossed it onto the bed instead of his nightstand and promptly began to chew on it.

After pulling his nightshirt over his head, Kisame saw what she was doing, he couldn't stop another smile from growing or the chuckle that escaped him, "Guess you like sharks too, huh?" He felt his pride swell a little as she just looked at him whilst still chewing, "Already taking after your old man, I'm defiantly keeping ya know." Kimiko just cooed around the plastic as he picked her up gently, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead, "I love you Kimiko and I always will."

That said, he took the keychain from her before she could decided to try chewing on the actual key and set it on the nightstand. Being mindful of Kimiko, Kisame got in bed as she used the fabric of his shirt to pull herself further onto his chest, head resting right over his heart. As if the comfort of his heartbeat was all she needed, Kimiko drifted off to sleep. The sight made Kisame's smile grow a little before carefully pulling the blanket up, whispering one last time, "Goodnight, Kimiko, my little princess." That said, Kisame followed her into dreamland, ready to face tomorrow a much easier then he had the night before.

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 **And...I'm done! Hmm, didn't take that long, but I still had a lot of fun writing this. I can honestly picture Kisame hving that first bit of trouble trying to adapt into being a father. Honestly, the show just didn't show much of a nicer side to him, so you just don't picture him raising a child himself, leave the kid with its mother sure, but not doing much to contribute. But of course, there is a reason there's the saying "don't judge a book by its cover", just because someone doesn't look like parent material, doesn't mean they aren't.**

 **Anyway, Itachi is still a small kid in this, still Academy age and Sasuke is just roughly a few months older then Kimiko and yes, he's in base with the Atasuki and not in Konoha, meaning he's not growing up in Konoha like in the show. I'll elaborate more on it a little later on, but I like to think I put some nice detail in on him, while keeping the humor and cuteness of the story I was going for. As for being the first to find out, I don't mind the opinion but I still need a little time before I'm a-hundred percent sure who's going to discover Kimiko first, might be Itachi, might not.**

 **And I have yet to decide Kimiko's mother figure, but I know for a fact its not going to Konan, she's Pain's and I don't think either of them would appreciate the sentient of her mothering someone's kid. On that note, let me know what you guys think on the subject.**

 **Until then, until next time! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back! This thing got more popular than I expected it to, guess people like the Ataksuki more than I gave credit. Well, here's more for you guys! More Ataksuki action and more Kimi-cuteness!**

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The first thing Kisame registered when he started to wake up, was a small, barely noticeable weight on his chest. Unable to stop the annoyed grunt, he peeked an eye open only to see the tiny infant he brought back with him, her small head filled with tiny curls of dark brown. The memories of the day before filtered through his brain and his first thought in a very, very long time was, _'I'm not alone.'_

He couldn't stop the large smile that threatened to break his face in half as he kept watching the peaceful little angel sleep. As much as he'd love to just stay where he was, but the rumbling of his stomach reminded him he had skipped his late night meal and had to get up eventually.

So, with great care, Kisame set Kimiko gently on the bed so he could get up and quickly got dressed in a simple black muscle shirt and dark blue pants. Leaving the door open so he could hear her when she got up, Kisame went straight to his mini-kitchen/dining-room with the intent of making a suitable breakfast for the both of them. All he fished out for himself was eggs to scramble and several pieces of bread to toast, having no energy for frying the frozen solid bacon in his mini-freezer. As for what to make for Kimiko, he might not have been the smartest out this organization, but even he knew babies couldn't eat what he normally ate and since she didn't have teeth, he had to be extra carefully with what he gave her until he had endless bottles of milk for her. So, he settled on home-made applesauce, using a kunai to remove the cord and seeds, making another note to ask the medical nin how old she was exactly so he knew how much milk he'd be stocking up.

As he was busy with breakfast, Kimiko yawned as she woke up, only to blink and look around confusedly to find she was alone. Tears threatened to well up as she called out helplessly, "Dada?" She struggled onto her stomach and began pulling herself across the bed with the blanket, crying out louder, "Papa!"

Kisame's ear twitched before he quickly went down the hall to his room, only to be met with a very happy, "Papa!" Followed by an equally happy giggle as Kimiko smiled widely up at him, reaching for him.

He once again smiled as he, carefully, picked her up, "Good morning, Kimiko." He carefully cradled her in the crook of his elbow. Kimiko just giggled happily smiling up with her big, warm eyes.

He carefully used pillows and blankets to cushion her so he could finish making breakfast. He of course fed her first and found it surprisingly easily to get her to eat, if just a little messy with how she had a hard time sitting still. No sooner did he finish his last piece of toast, loud banging started to sound at his door. The sudden loud sound made Kimiko whimper, despite Kisame's attempt to sooth her.

This just reminded him of what he had to today. With a sigh, Kisame made the seals for the Shadow Clone jutsu, causing a single clone to poof into reality. The clone glanced around in confusion before looking to the original for an explanation to its summoning.

"I need someone to stay here and care for Kimiko until I have the Leader's to keep her," Kisame summed up for it hurrying to get his gear together and his cloak on, wondering just how long he had before someone attempted to bust the door down, "So that one's you."

"Did it ever occur to you one of the others might be able to watch her and keep her secret?" The clone questioned as it leaned back, crossing its arms as it calmly watched him. This was one of things Kisame loved about clone jutsus; at some point, the clones started developing their own personalities and apparently he got the calm one.

"Yeah, for a suitable price," The original shark-nin snarked back, "And even then what's stopping them from backstabbing me at a moment's notice before I can even approach the Leader?" The clone did offer a response and he didn't have to, his expression said it all.

Kisame snorted in response to the silence, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

He just started to head for the door when the clone finally spoke again, "Hey, wait," Kisame looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, "Shouldn't you make more clones? You know, just in case I accidentally dispell for whatever reason? No one's perfect, not even a clone."

Kisame just blinked at this, seeing the logic behind the reasoning, "Good point." That said, he quickly made the seals as the pounding got more persistent and four more clones appeared, he then quickly began to instruct them, "You guys are watching the baby until I get back, lunch is in..." He checked the clock, "Four hours and I'll be back some time after, no solid food and watch what you give her, cause I don't know if she has an allergy." All five, including the first clone, silently salute, unfazed by the considerably odd orders before the first one picked a highly confused Kimiko and took her somewhere they couldn't be seen from the door, followed by the other four clones.

Nodding in satisfaction once they were out of sight, Kisame took a deep breath before opening the door...only to get a direct punch right between the eyes curtsy of Kakuzu, who had went to knock again. Beside him, Itachi winced out of reflex at the unintentional hit as his new senpai yelled in pained-anger, "Dammit Kakuzu!"

Itachi didn't miss the wince the brunette missing-nin tried to hide, but didn't make a comment as the male in question retorted in usual banter, "Well, if you didn't sleep in, I wouldn't have been knocking in the first place."

"Well, why come get me at all?" Kisame questioned rubbing his now bruising sore-spot, glaring at his fellow council member. "The weekly meeting was re-scheduled for this morning, remember?" Kakuzu reminded much to Kisame's surprise that he had forgotten, though he supposed it was given considering the recent events in his personal life.

But then he realized the gravity of the situation; he was late for a meeting, something neither Pein nor Konan liked.

Kisame was silent for a moment, a horrified expression on his face, which Kakuzu enjoyed, before the shark-nin asked, dreading the answer, "How pissed are they?"

"Get your butt to the coucil room before one of them loses their patience," Itachi answered before Kakuzu had the chance to torture him, "And by them, I mean Konan." Kisame didn't need to be told twice, all but sprinting down the hall, forgetting to close the door as Kakuzu followed, laughing at him.

Itachi raised an eyebrow as he peered into the room curiously, then shrugged and closed the door before going after them. He was unaware of the clones sighing in relief as the door closed as Kimiko giggled innocently.

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Kisame winced once Konan was through with her lecture on being late and sleeping in like he had. Sometimes he swore Konan thought she was their mother or something, though, with Itachi, he could see how such intincts would raise out of her. He settled on glaring at Kakuzu, Hidan and Deidara until they stopped snickering, which took a while with the collector. As the meeting began, he couldn't help but feel really, really nervous, afraid he'd slip about Kimiko and he'd lose her. Plus, the ultimate fact he was harboring such a secret from the most dangerous missing-nins in the world just made him all the more nervous for reasons he wasn't a hundred percent sure of.

When the topic of new recruits came up, the thought of Kimiko, as well as Itachi and his little brother spurred a sudden thought that just might come to serve in his favor. The idea behind raising future recruits. He could see the immediately problems, such as the lengthy wait before they were actually useful in raising profit for them in missions or the like, as well as the attachments that'll be made and the question of where to get such children. Of course, he could see the merits in such an idea. For one thing, the attachments worked both ways, meaning those children would be much less likely to backstab them and, as much as he didn't like it, more likely to do what they were told in a mission. It made Kisame cringe and feel torn at the idea of Kimiko being sent on such a mission in her distant future, but he knew he couldn't shelter her forever.

"Leader, I think I may have an idea for recruits," Kisame spoke up before Konan could move on to the next subject. Everyone rose an eyebrow at the change in Kisame's attitude and was surprised he had something to offer.

When Pein motioned for him to go ahead and say his idea, Kisame spoke again, "What if we raised new recruits."

He was immediately met with a stunned silence and, uncertain and confused looks. "What kind of an idea is that, dumbass?" The long-haired blonde that was Deidara asked ever blunt, "Raise them? How do you even-" (yeah, I'm leaving out the whole 'hnm'-thing or whatever Deidara ends a sentence with, just too annoying.)

The blonde was cut off by Itachi, who immediately caught on to what Kisame had in mind, "You mean taking in children and raising them into the Ataksuki." Kisame nodded unsure of how Itachi felt of the idea, since it would, ultimately, include his little brother and the Uchiha's current expression was utterly unreadable, even for the hidden Obito.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Deidara shouted in disbelief missing the looks Konan and Pein shared as the idea went through their heads, "I'm not taking in any snotty-nosed brat! I'd sooner turn myself into the hunter-nin before letting anywhere _near_ my pottery!"

Sasori looked at the Iwa-nin oddly, "I thought you liked kids."

"I do," The fellow artist retorted, "Just not anywhere near my personal space."

"Tobi like the idea!" Tobi spoke up enthusiastically, "Tobi like to raise new little ninjas!" The two artists just sighed, face-palming in annoyance.

Hidan personally didn't really care one way or the other, sure it'd be a pain at first, but he could see the merits, especially since he could get more followers for his religion. But still, he had to wonder where the normally violent shark-nin got such an idea from. "I thought you hated kids," Hidan commented to the swordsman, raising an eyebrow as he tensed.

Kisame, thankfully, didn't get the chance to answer as Pein finally spoke, "Enough," Which, of course, caused everyone to stop talking, "Explain Kisame."

The Kiri-missing-nin nodded before complying, "I just thought it would quell the issue of loyalty if we had ninjas who life only consisted of the Ataksuki, being raised in its ways and ideals, instead of continuingly questioning those we many to recruit after they've spent their lives in their villages."

Konan couldn't stop the suspicion from raising in her, despite the perfect logic behind Kisame's reasoning. It would be better, since the children would do little to question them in terms of missions, but that didn't stop her guilt behind the idea of basically manipulating innocent children who trusted her. Nor did it stop her suspicion. Kisame Hoshigaki would've never come up with such an idea on his own and as much as the conflicting feeling of loving the idea of children to raise, she really had to question how he came up with such an idea to begin with.

"I know the wait for when they would actually be able to do something useful for the Akatsuki would be a pain," Kisame continued to appeal his idea, praying to whatever was up there Pein would agree, "But just think, ninjas who were completely and unquestioningly loyal to the ultimate plan, which would certainly get things done much quicker," He paused to let his point register before deciding to appeal to another nature he knew they couldn't resist, "And just think...it'd be the perfect chance to pass on our own knowledge and skills to a new generation."

Now that got everyone's attention as they looked at him, whilst Itachi just sat there, remaining quiet as Kisame continued, "Come on, we all know we're not going to last forever, not even you, Kakuzu," The brunette growled at the reminder that he was nowhere near achieving the immortality he dreamed of, sure to die trying, "What's the point of gaining all this power if we have no one to pass it on to? Itachi doesn't really have anything to worry about because he has all of the clan secrets he stole and has his brother to teach and they have plenty of time on their hands, but we don't; even I will have to eventually pass Shamehada on someday."

Secretly, he hoped when that day would come, it would be Kimiko he would pass his precious sword to.

Pein remained silent as the rest of the coucil muttered amongst themselves, all of them, including Pein himself, could see Kisame's points being valid. It would be rewarding in the end, in both the children's results in missions as well as the growth in the ideals of the Akatsuki. He could also see the rewards of passing on his skills as an Uzumaki on, if anything to keep the techniques from dying with him as small as his clan had become, plus, interacting with both Uchiha children had re-opened doors he thought both he and Konan thought were long closed and locked. Still, it didn't burn the curiosity of where loud, brash, kid-hating, violent Kisame got such a bright idea from.

He looked to Konan, who had yet to say a word on the matter along with either sides of Zetsu. Konan noticed and shrugged, " The decision is yours, Leader."

However, it didn't stop Black Zetsu from throwing in, "Plus we're already doing something similar with Itachi and eventually his brother will join in once he grows older," He then switched over to White Zetsu, who chuckled, adding on to the statement, "It would be nicer to give the kid some friends, no likes being alone after all." The chatterbox emphasizes the statement by throwing lingering, yet knowing looks at his fellow council members, who shifted around under his look, knowing exactly what he meant.

It took all Kisame's will-power and training to keep himself from breaking into a full, wide, shark-like grin from joy. He was successfully reeling them in with only minor protests and had yet to hear one from Pein. He honestly surprised himself with his own reasoning, having had little time to think it through during his run to the meeting room, but he wasn't about to complain now. He almost lost his self-control when Pein finally spoke, "Its...something to look into..." It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either, so Kisame was over the moon, he had a chance!

During the rest of the meeting, Kisame just barely paid attention to what was left to discuss, daydreaming of raising his daughter, who was making quite the impact on him much quicker then he expected. The daydreaming soon turned to wonders on how the clones were doing with her and was only sooner remained that he was going to have to sneak away to get supplies for his little princess, which he decided was going to be her new nickname, and he had no idea how he was going to sneak them back in without any warning flags going up.

He hadn't noticed the meeting had ended nor Itachi's insistent pulling on one of his sleeves until a fist found the top of his head, followed by a certain blonde all but screaming in his ear, "BASE TO KISAME-TEME! WILL YOU STOP DAYDREAMING FOR A DAMN FIVE MINUTES?"

Groaning in pain, Kisame looked up to glare at his offender, not at all pleased at being punched for the second time that day for no good reason. "What blonde-ass?" He snapped not at all caring Itachi was present, fully aware that Itachi had already heard worse.

"Are you done with your daydreaming? The meeting's long over, shark-breathe!" Was the blonde's retort making Kisame finally notice they were the only ones left in the meeting room. "Then what the hell are you two still doing here for?" Kisame questioned knowing full well it wasn't just to tell him.

Deidara sighed, annoyed, "Don't tell me you forgot already, Rain-teme." Kisame just looked at the blonde oddly before finally looking at Itachi when he felt the boy pull once more on his sleeve. "You said you and Deidara would help me with my taijutsu, remember?" The elder Uchiha sibling asked finally letting a little emotion show, that emotion being a certain hopefulness that pulled a little at remaining member of the Hoshigaki clan's chest.

Kisame felt like sicking one of his sharks on himself, he actually had forgot. Only now did the memory of his weekly taijutsu training with the Konoha and Iwa natives returning to his mind. It had become something of a ritual for the three of them since they had, had a free space at that moment of time and Itachi had approached them with the request of bettering his both his skill and speed in the more hand-to-hand ninja-art.

"Sorry, guys, it just...slipped my mind, I guess," Kisame shrugged sheepishly. Deidara just sighed, "Well, I'm in a good mood, so just don't let it happen again, moron, alright?"

Both Kisame and Itachi didn't make their comment to the statement aloud as they shared a look, ' _That's_ a good mood?' To which, of course, Deidara was oblivious, already heading for the training hall, but called back, sounding impatient already, "Are you two coming or what?" They both quickly followed not wanting to entice the blonde's often literally explosive temper, though, they didn't hide their tiny smiles at the familiarity of doing something they've been doing for months now.

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No sooner did they enter the training hall, all activity seem to freeze. Deidara didn't bother to hold back a glare before snapping at the ninjas there, "Out." And no sooner was the one word spoken were they all gone, nearly trampling Itachi in the process.

Kisame snorted in amusement at the fear the blonde so easily en-stilled as he shrugged off his cloak, since it was easier to train with it out of the way. Then again, it didn't take long for even the newest of newbies to get wary of the Iwa-missing-nin as soon as they discover aforemention's ninja's pranks always involved one of her exploding clay-works.

As Deidara shedded her own cloak was Kisame swiftly reminded that despite the bravado the blonde would put on to avoid becoming some kind of political tool for her village, Deidara was in fact a woman and despite himself, a very gorgeous woman at that. For all her scars from her career as a professional ninja of one of the most battle-hardened Ninja Villages, Deidara took remarkable care of herself with smooth pale skin despite her hours in the sun prior to joining the Akatsuki and all her physical activity kept her well fit with the curvy figure of goddess. Her sunny-blonde hair, for its shortness, framed her round face rather nicely and the small ponytail had a odd cute factor despite her age and, personally, Kisame found her pale blue eyes her most unique quality, reminding him of an aquamarine.

Kisame would never deny that when she didn't hide like wasn't now, Deidara was certainly a very attractive woman, especially since she knew how intimidate and take care of herself, her own unique crazniess didn't set him off either, but he never considered her to be his type before. Even as he watched as did his own warm-ups, interacting and stretching with Itachi in her own supportive way, Kisame would rarely find his eyes roaming her like he had seen Kakuzu done when the idiot had walked in on them once.

Yet now, as he watched, he found himself marveling at how well she interacted with Itachi and Sasuke, whenever the older would bring the baby along. In fact, the more he took in and thought about how well Deidara took to kids despite what she had to say about them at the meeting to his idea, all the more attractive the blonde artist became in the man's eyes. All of a sudden, he could picture Deidara holding Kimiko, mothering her, caring for her. In fact, that picture was soon followed by her cradling a little infant with the Hoshigaki blue skin-tone and her beautiful pale blue eyes.

Realizing where his thoughts were going, Kisame eyes widened as his cheeks started to turn a little purple from the blue hue of his skin. He quickly shook his head as he finished his stretches. 'Where on earth did _that_ come from?' He wondered.

"Hey, ready to train?" Deidara questioned looking at him with an eyebrow quirked. Unable to trust his voice right now, Kisame nodded silently, making her shrug before returning her attention to Itachi, who was quietly awaiting instructions, "So, to pick up from where we left off, how's your gymnastics coming?" This caused her to miss how purple Kisame's was turning as his mind kept conspiring against him with her.

But Itachi didn't miss it and raised an eyebrow at it before returning his attention to Deidara, who was trying to be patiently while awaiting his answer. "Better, but I can't get a hold of propelling myself off something while spinning with just one hand," He answered her.

Despite the rocky terrain that surrounded Iwa, the ninjas there had adopted a much more complicated form of taijutsu that they had kept strictly in-house that involved a high understanding and use of gymnastics. Despite being mastering Konoha and the Uchiha Clan's own styles of taijutsu, Itachi insisted on learning from them. Deidara just thought he wanted to expand his arsenal and was actually impressed he didn't just copy their styles with his Sharingan, to which he had replied he wanted to earn them, not just take them. Kisame, however, actually got to know the kid a bit better than Deidara and thought the kid just really wanted to interact with adults like he had before he was forced to leave Konoha and they were just his first picks.

As for what Kisame had to offer, besides being a suitable spar partner and basically a living training dummy (to which Deidara refused to let him live down), was an insight into the Kiri taijutsu style, or rather, the Hoshigaki clan style; the Shark style. Despite its name, it didn't rely purely on physical strength as he would show them over and over again, rather, it relied more on being agile and putting both speed and force behind the blows rather then just strength. He explained it was much more potent actually in the water rather then on it or land, but he refused to demonstrate, saying it was much too early to show that side of it.

As far as the basics in both went, Itachi proved he was nimble enough for the Iwa-style, being able to pull off basic flips and twists mid-air thanks to already learning such basics, it was just as things got more complicated and pacific he started having trouble. As for the Shark-style, Itachi, surprisingly, was finding much resistance in learning it then had first thought, more so then for the Iwa-style. He had the three parts down just find separately, it was combining the three he had trouble with.

"Well, there's no rush, brat," Kisame said in good-hearted jest, "Just take your time with them, its hard enough learning one kind of taijutsu style, but two at one? Its not easy, not even for a genius." Itachi looked down, finally actually looking his age as he expressed his displeasure of not getting it right away, which made both adults chuckle.

Kisame couldn't stop himself from glancing at Deidara with the amusement Itachi's pout rose, making her look back at him just as amused but with a bit of knowing that he caught onto. They both knew what it was like to be that age and so eager to learn and perfect, after all. However, his mind decided to be his enemy again as it helped him picture her as a mother again. Blushing hotly, Kisame quickly looked away, hoping she didn't notice, mentally cursing himself and wondering where this newfound imagination was coming from. Sure, it'd be nice to find someone who could be a real mother for Kimiko, but this was a little weird...even for him.

However, Deidara had noticed and while she raised an eyebrow, didn't make a comment, deciding she'd tease him later when they didn't have a pupil to teach.

Kisame just sighed to himself. What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

 **And done! Hmm, didn't take as long as I thought it would, point for me!**

 **I know, some of you guys might be thinking 'why is Deidara a girl?' well, to be honest, I thought he was a girl when I first saw him in the show. Also, he's not going to be the only genderbent character, trust me. As to why I made Deidara a girl, well, it was more of a gut-thing, let's put it that way. I honestly think it wasn't fair Konan was the only girl in the Ataksuki, but hey, don't own Naruto remember? Plus, my story, don't like it, well, too bad for you!**

 **Anyways, I hope this was still cute and funny for you guys, I do what I can, but since this is the Ataksuki I'm going to have to add some seriousness at some point.**

 **Either way, hope you guys liked the chapter. If you got anything to say, just pose a review.**

 **Until next time ;)!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all, guess what's back! Hope everyone's enjoying this and is looking forward to some more possible Kisame-fluff! I know I am!**

 **Well, time to get on with it!**

* * *

Kisame couldn't have wished for a hour and a half to pass by any quick then he had in that moment of time, especially since he wasn't the type to pass up physical activity that involved fighting of any kind like this particular situation often involved. But this wasn't a normal training session for him, not this time. This was a torture session where he may have found something in a comrade (however temporary, he wasn't entirely sure at this point) he found genuinely attractive and now his body was deciding to turn on him by turning it into something more than it was, something more permanent.

It wasn't that the idea of romance threatened or scared him, well, not entirely, he just didn't see how he would have any time for it or how it would turn out even remotely positive with his career, especially the path he had carved out for himself and now, he had Kimiko to care for. He didn't regret either one. Besides, he didn't think any girl, civilian or kunoichi would find his overly blunt, violent and often loud personality overall very attractive and he didn't see how, even if it were the case, how he would keep a relationship of that particular type, he was already in an unsteady boat on a particularly dangerous and rocky sea with Kimiko, he wasn't sure if he could handle this one.

Still, it didn't make putting up with the awkward tension that was slowly building between himself and Deidara, which he was suspecting she was starting to piece together the why for it and if anything, it was making her more devious than usual. Twelve times. Twelve kami-damn times she leaned closer than necessary whenever they would clash during their taijutsu demonstrations, half of those times he swore she was going to kiss him, at least half and he always swore she was laughing at him when she'd flip away at the last possible second. And he knew both she and Itachi knew he was holding back when he was attacking her in kind, his usually full-forced swings weren't nearly half-hearted as they usually were and he was more defensive than offense, giving her too many openings for an attack.

Finally, Kami decided to have mercy on him, cause Deidara finally said, "Okay, boys, time's up."

Itachi gave them both a respected bow like any student would give their teacher, before asking, "Hoshigaki-san, are you feeling well?" Kisame was thrown off by the sudden question despite knowing it was eventually going to come up, he just wasn't expecting it like this.

"Just what I was about to ask," Deidara commented making him cringe, "What was that all about, fish-breathe, you've never been that light on strikes before."

"I fail to see how its any of your business, blonde-bitch," Kisame replied/insulted in kind, "Everyone has their off days."

"Nuh-uh," The blonde shook her hair, ponytail flailing as she did, "Not like that they don't; the cellar running out of fish, that would be your off day; being late to the meeting like you were would be your off day. This," She purposely walked up to him, rising a purple-y flush out of his still flustered self and pointed at his face, "Going all defense and letting me attack so many times; not your off day."

Kisame sighed at this, running a hand over his still warm face as he tried to will it away. He really needed to figure out how to get them off his tail so he could go and get supplies for Kimiko, since he couldn't go into town with the chance they'd follow him.

Something occurred to him then, though, and he shot Itachi a look, asking, "What I say about the 'Hoshigaki-san' crap?"

Itachi just shrugged in response, making him shake his head in annoyance. Deidara's face was tinging red at this point as she snapped, "Hey, don't go changing the subject, bastard!"

"I'm telling you to back off, bitch, before I get mad," Kisame gritted out through his gritted teeth, "I'm fine, just feeling a little off and its nothing to get your panties in a twist over."

Deidara had gotten her cloak back on and was about to retort when a random missing-nin, a chunnin from Suna, hesitantly poked his head in through the door and said, "Um...H-Hoshigaki-san?"

In response, all three nin looked over him, the two adults snapping together, "What?"

The chunnin cringed, but answered anyways, "Hidan is requesting you in the mission office."

Never had Kisame wanted to nearly kiss someone out of gratitude so badly then he did right then, he may have just nearly converted to his Jisam-whatever religion right there, not that he was going to tell the idiot that. A mission meant getting out of the base, which meant going through Ame, which meant he could shop for baby supplies without being immediately pressed for time and sneak it back in without being noticed. That reminded him, he had to get Kimiko's basket. Maybe there was a jeweller or a merchant that specialized in jewelry in Ame that could give him hints to where Kimiko originated from, just for the sake of learning more of her capabilities in the future, which also reminded him...

A cough jolted him out of his musings and he remembered where he was and the chunnin waiting for his response.

"Be right there," The surviving Hoshigaki told him and the chunnin nodded before high-tailing it out of there, the blue-skinned man then turned to Itachi, "Get back to your brother, I know you miss him."

Without a word, Itachi nodded a thankful smile twitching on his lips before heading off to do so, leaving the two older Akasuki members alone. "Seriously, Kisame, are you feeling alright?" Deidara stressed with a more genuine concern in her voice that she only showed to a select group of members when they were alone, this time, he couldn't get himself to be ticked with her at hearing it, "I could always take the mission if you'd like."

This time, he couldn't help it, he gave her his rare genuine smiles that weren't all teeth and malice as he answered, "I really am fine, Deidara, believe me, you'd be the first to know if something was wrong and I'm sure I can handle whatever Hidan or Kakuzu is sending me off to do."

The blonde didn't look particularly convinced, but she nodded anyways, "If your sure..." He nodded back and she sighed before walking away, going in the opposite direction of the mission hall.

He sighed, running his hand over his face. He didn't have the kid for even a full day and already she was causing him grief. " _Ah well,"_ he supposed, " _That's what kids are for, I guess."_

As he headed for the office that served to provide the base with the majority of its income, he found his thoughts filling themselves with concerns, idle comments and daydreams of the little infant he found. He couldn't help himself anymore in the concerns, now a father, he was naturally concerned with the well-being of his new-found daughter, call it sentimental mush all you wished, but he just felt an instant bond form when he first held her and he could feel it continue to grow in him with every minute. He wondered, were the clones doing their jobs right? They had to be, he hadn't gotten a single memory that signaled one had been dispelled, but that increased his worry that perhaps something could still very easily happen to Kimiko.

After all, Kimiko wasn't a clone, she was real and she can just as easily die at a moment's in-desecration. Now he understood why a parent was did what they did when it came to their children. Something so small, helpless and delicate was completely dependent on him now and that innocence could disappear from the world forever if he wasn't careful, worse, she could end up like one of those common whores he would pass outside bars and taverns or worse, if he didn't play his cards right. It was honestly very frightening for him. It also scared him, how, even in just a moment, how the very suggestion of any man; shinobi, civilian, daimyo, drunk, sober, wealthy, poor, proper, violent, educated or dumber than a pile of bricks atop a mountain, so much as looking at his daughter in such a way once she was older just set him off with such...rage. The only thing that kept him from attacking a random wall or planter was the quick reassurance that she was still safe within his room and that he would teach her in the future the danger that came with the opposite sex and attraction, and how to defend herself from it.

He quickly entertained himself from that with how his clones were keeping her entertained and fed, since it had to be around lunch by now. He didn't exactly have anything a baby could play with, perhaps one of them had a duplicate of the cartoon shark she had been chewing on last night and was entertaining her with it. Maybe (hopefully) they found a reasonably child-friendly book to read to her while settling her down for a nap.

His thoughts had then turned to daydreams. Mostly anticipations for all those firsts other parents had so proudly and eagerly gushed and reminisced about. He already had her first (and her second) word and he couldn't be any prouder a papa to know it was, well, his new title from the get-go. He just hoped he would be physically there for when she would start to crawl or/and take her first step. He just _knew_ her next word was going to be fish related, even if was the last thing he did-

"Ugh...Kisame?" A familiar voice cut in through his daydream of his little girl throwing her first kunai, making him realize he was in the office, "Any particular reason you're grinning like that?"

Hidan then added, amusedly, "Cause yer scarin' the newbies."

Kisame didn't want to throttle anyone as badly as he did right then as he flushed for what had to be the fiftieth time that day and snapped, "Shut it, Hidan or I'll make you swallow Samehada!" The 'zombie' just put up his hands in mock surrender, his grin never leaving his face.

"You want the mission or not?" Kakuzu intervened not in the mood to let his arguable suicidal partner push the same-nin around to the point of taking a swipe at him.

"Hand it over," Kisame mumbled and the other complied, handing the mission scroll over, "Crazy yuga-nin..."

Hidan just cackled in response once he was well out of the samehada's reach, "You're one to talk, fish-face!"

Kisame just leveled him a glare before stomping out of the office without opening the scroll to even check what his mission was. More often to not, their shinobi were rarely, if ever, given details about their missions from those they were receiving them from since the majority of the details would be written in the actual scrolls and most were intelligent enough to know what to do from there, Kisame being one of them despite how brash and violent he tended to act.

Hidan just continued to chuckle as Kakuzu shook his head in silent disbelief before the Yugakure native silently held up a hand and started to count down from five. In the hall, Kisame finally manage to pry off the privacy seal and unrolled the scroll to see what the job was, it was for a decent amount of money he had to admit, a good, albeit small percentage of it went to him personally for caring out the mission, which was still a fair amount, roughly a good thousand fifteen hundred yen, maybe two thousand. It was in Ame too, so it was the perfect chance for him to get Kimiko proper diapers, some toys and food, maybe even banter some advice from whatever parents were also there while disguised, cause it would certainly make everything a hell of a lot easier.

But then, he spied it. Just what the mission was. It was a universal D-rank: Babysitting.

No sooner did Kakuzu lower his last finger, mentally counting one, did they hear it:

"KAMI-DAMMIT! I COULD JUST GONE BACK TO MY ROOM FOR THIS!"

Hidan once again burst out laughing so hard he actually fell over clutching his stomach with tears in his eyes, never noticing the meaning behind Kisame's words as a few brave chunnin-level missing-nins and the rare jounin-level nin chuckled along at Kisame's misery. Kakuzu and a few others, however, did register Kisame's words and were left to wander what he meant by it.

0000000000000000000000000000

It was only out of all his D-rank experience back as a genin that Kisame have any idea what to expect when he finally arrived at the house of the person who had filed the mission, though personally, Kisame thought it was more of a chore presented by a person who was either too lazy or just didn't trust another normal person to get the job done. Though that logic was a double-edge sword to it, he supposed, cause what sane person trusted a small child to a 'dangerous, blood-thirsty ninja' that could be one of the missing-nin that had started gathering near their village.

He wasn't there for more than three minutes, presenting his mission scroll to prove he was the assigned ninja when the man, a merchant of some sort Kisame was left to assume, was out the door so fast Kisame hadn't even finished his sentenced and was left at the open door with a stunned expression. _'Talk about in a hurry,'_ He commented to himself closing the door behind him. That he wasn't prepared for.

"Hoshigaki?" A familiar voice said in mild surprise that was more or less smothered with an otherwise indifferent tone, which caused him to freeze, "Your my mission partner?"

No sooner did he turn around, he found the one and only, Akasuna no Sasori, the only other artist in the Akatsuki and was just as deadly as her blonde counter-part, maybe more so for her cold and aloof attitude in comparison to Deidara's more open and loud one, which showed in their skills as artists and how they worked as kunoichi. Opposite of Deidara's long(ish) sunny blonde hair and tanned skin, Sasori was pale like snow under the moonlight and her blood red hair was cropped short, just short enough to reach her shoulders, where every emotion easily flowed through Deidara's grayish-blue eyes, everything in Sasori's grayish-brown eyes were forever a mystery that she very rarely gave clues to.

Also, unlike, Deidara, Sasori didn't keep up a gender charade, she just wasn't all that girly in general. Despite the fact that she had the same presence of mind to for-go her Akatsuki cloak, she still wore normal enough clothing for a ninja in general. Dark colors for practical invisibility; a dark purple tub-top and loose black pants that provided plenty of movement, she had traded in her Suna flank jacket for a symbol-less one of a russet shade of red and basic brown sandals. She always someone managed to make him make comparisons between her and one of those priceless china dolls; pale, cold and silent with an often disturbing, yet piercing gaze, and yet beautiful all at the same time. That alone was enough for him to respect her.

"Sasori, wait, why send two Akatsuki members for a simple D-rank?" Kisame immediately questioned once he got over his shock. Sasori just shrugged as she pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning on, "I just learn not to question Kakuzu and Hidan's decisions since it saves me one big headache in the end, especially after learning they consult Tobi of all people with them."

Kisame paused at this and stared at her, before asking, "They consult _Tobi_ about _missions?_ " Again, she shrugged.

Not a second later, a sharp wailing sounded from the living room through the sliding door, reminding them of what their mission entailed them to do. But just as Kisame was about to move to open the door, Sasori more less glided over, beating him to it and opened the door wide open. Kisame was a little nervous about letting an emotionally detached and often impatient kunoichi being near a helpless, fragile infant, but apparently, Sasori had similar hesitations about him cause she almost slammed the door on him when he went to follow her.

Now that Kisame took a good look around he figured he had the parents well pegged as merchants or high-classed, well-off business owers. While the house itself was a modest two-story and traditional in Japanese construction and design, everything about the decor said money, lots of money, from the fine crafted furniture to the plants in their fancy-designed pots to the expensive looking paintings on the walls. Now it made a bit of sense, even if not much, that the parents would hire ninjas to watch their child, want the best, get the best. Plus for all he knew, these parents had enemies and as a parent himself with plenty of enemies, he could understand that point of view.

Sasori easily scooped up the child from the playpen that had been set up in the center of the room (Kisame made a note to get one as it would make keeping an eye on Kimiko and keeping her safe at the same time easier) and just as easily cradled the little one in her arms, keeping his head balanced on the crook of her arm and lightly bouncing him as she did. This caused Kisame's respect for her to increase, seeing how easily she was getting the baby to calm down so quickly.

He just barely caught her lips moving, but couldn't quite hear from across the room, figuring she would want her space and took particular not of it for reference for when Kimiko eventually got particularly upset or fussy. It wasn't a lullaby as she stopped for too soon for it to be an effective one, but whatever she had cooed, it very clearly worked as the baby began to calm down and blubber. Sasori had certainly done better at this than he had at his first attempt at parenting with Kimiko's diaper, but he still stood by his defense that he hadn't been prepared for it nor receive any warning of it.

He was once again reminded when he nearly tripped over a block that he had to get Kimiko things and soon, cause he wasn't sure how well his clones could keep her entertained and cared for, especially since he was sure Kimiko couldn't put up with curtain or rag-made diapers forever and he couldn't keep washing out shit-stains forever either. And now, he was missing his little girl, he was missing her the more he kept watching Sasori cradle this baby and made him miss those moments he had shared with her last night all the more.

Yes, the diaper fiasco was disgusting and it sucked like hell to make a makeshift diaper, but he honestly wasn't minding as much as he originally thought he would. In fact, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he loved showing Kimiko love, giving her all the affection he had been denied as a child. He momentarily wondered if it was wrong to be just a little jealous of the kid, but quickly got it out of his head, if he was allowed a second chance at love, no reason he couldn't grieve over the loss at the first one. If anything, it made him all the more determined and set on being the best parent he could ever be for Kimiko's sake, to know she was never going to be alone in the world like he was, so she would never have to endure that short of pain. Just knowing he was sparing her that much made him feel a little better about himself as a whole. Just goes to show how much of an impact she was having on him.

But then, a second wail, a little higher in pitch then the first, sounded from the playpen, not only snapping Kisame out of his musings of his own baby, but making him groan as well. He really should've read that scroll over...

As for Sasori, she was a little panicked, especially once the baby she was already holding started to cry again as well, only this time, put up more resistance in being held, apparently wanting to be with its sibling. Sasori, however, was trying to calm this child down before trying to calm the other with whatever she had done before, only it seemed to be falling on deaf ears this time around, much to her cardigan.

Telling his comrade could use some help and knowing she couldn't stop him with her arms full of baby, Kisame crossed the room and picked up the second baby. Both were easily no older than maybe four to five months so they were fairly light, but Kisame knew for a fact they were heavier than Kimiko and the fact they were so much bigger than her put him in a momentary worry for his daughter's physical health.

Kisame easily held the crying girl-twin, rocking her gently in his arms like he had with Kimiko in the woods, only this time, hummed gently in the back of his throat in what he hoped was a comforting tone and way. Slowly but surely, she settled in his arms and drifted to sleep and not a moment later, her twin quieted as well.

He smiled for a moment before remembering Sasori and looked up to see her staring at him, once again with an almost un-readable expression on her face, save for a curious furrow in her brow as her eyes seemed to shine with something akin to curiosity. It made him sweat a little, now really wishing he never got out of bed.

"How did you do that?" The Suna-nin questioned her tone still passive, but had a note of curiosity in it. "I...ugh..." Kisame froze for a moment or two to think up a quick explanation, "Just...tried what you did, but just...um...d-different!" He gave a little nervous chuckle, mentally kicking himself for stuttering.

Honestly, he had been through worse and lied to worse and yet he stuttered in front of a petite redheaded woman holding a baby. He really was getting rusty.

He watched hesitantly as Sasori continued to stare at him, wondering if she was going to call him on his lie and prob him until he blurted about Kimiko. But instead she once again shrugged in her usual uncaring manner, ultimately deciding getting whatever truth was behind it wasn't worth her current time.

Kisame sighed in relief as she briskly turned and began to walk out of the room, instead saying, "The clients stated that should be fed by now, are you going to help me feed them or am I going to have to do that myself?"

He quickly followed her out the door, being careful not to disturb the baby in his arms. Kisame once again found himself marveling at how well his female comrade was at caring for children. He honestly thought she would've gotten impatient and violent when the boy-twin first started crying, especially when he cried the second time, but she pleasantly tried to calm him down first before doing something drastic.

And once again, he found himself daydreaming, and this time, it wasn't Deidara he was picturing smiling and laughing with his little Kimiko or cuddling a baby with the Hoshigaki skin. No, this time, he was picturing Sasori. Cold, detached Sasori playing with bright, bubbly Kimiko and holding a baby with his skin and silver eyes, but with her crimson hair.

He was only snapped out of these daydreams when Sasori suddenly stopped and he bumped right into her. His face must've looked like a plum at this point as Sasori leveled him a mildly un-amused stare that border lined annoyance as she arched an eyebrow at him. Kisame just gave her a wide, nervous grin, hoping and praying she didn't ask, and once again, she shrugged and spun back around on her heel, heading to find the bottles the clients most likely told her about before they had left.

Once her back was turned, Kisame silently sighed and mentally began to bang his head on an imaginary wall. This really wasn't his day today, was it?

* * *

 **And I think that'll do it for this chapter for now, sorry for the lack of parent-child bonding between Kisame and Kimiko, but I'm working up to it. On another note, yes, I also made Sasori a girl, so sorry SasoDara (or whatever its called) fans, but I'm not entirely sure these two artists are going to end up together.**

 **And for a spoiler to the next chapter, Kisame uses his mission money to go shopping for Kimiko!**

 **Well, until next time!**


End file.
